13 Days and 4 Haikus til Idol

And while Crystal has done cracking good job of describing the significance of Paula, Randy, the contestants, and most importantly, the smug bastard to end smug bastards, Simon Cowell. (Who, by the by, I am incredibly attracted to and I think that speaks leaps and bounds for the fact that I am going to wind up marrying a HUGE asshole because I find brutal honesty to be a total turn on even if it makes you a giant dick.) But there is one important element that you missed, Crystal. Ryan Seacrest and his frosted blonde tips.

Haikus for Ryan

Seacrest out, Ryan
I've wondered, what with the hair
Moisturizier, dude?


Ryan as puppy
Annoying and most loyal
Drink Coca-Cola


Hair blonder at tips
T-shirt making me dizzy
Why wear distressed jeans?


I don't get Paula
Ryan will translate for me
You don't know, either?