8 Days Until Idol-You Know What That Means...it's Time to Talk About the Mormons

You may not remember her name. Hell, you may not remember her face, but Carmen Rasmusen will always stick out in my American Idol Hallway of Horror as one of the most offensive singers in the competition. (Sorry, just had to add that she was known as "Stevie Shits" around my house-Gina) Let me start with a little history of myself.

(For anyone who has not had the pleasure of reading our last blog, you may find that from time to time, Gina and I talk about ourselves in the blog. You know, here and there, we happen to mention events from our own life that we for some reason think are funny or intersect in some way to what we’re saying…okay, a lot. We talk about ourselves a lot. If you don’t like that, you should probably stop reading right here.)

…and now back to myself. Around my sixteenth birthday I was introduced, by a friend, to Blondie. I owe Blondie a lot. It was a keystone. Blondie was the gateway drug into decent music that I could stop being afraid to share with my friends. Blondie was everything to me for a long period during post adolescence. Blondie is still the epitome of cool to me. If I had the guts or a smidge of the talent, I would still love to fashion my life after Debbie Harry. Alas, this girl is far too dorky to ever be as cool as Ms. Harry, but, even so, I still feel the need to vindicate her whenever her music has been taken in vain. Carmen took Blondie’s music in vain.

Carmen was brought back to Idol by Simon Cowell after she was not voted into the top 10. This will go down as one of his top five mistakes coming right in under those ugly sweaters. She was cute, to be sure, but her singing ability did not match her 1000 watt smile and I quickly grew tired of her goat-stuck-in-a-fence vibrato. Then she did it, she hit her lowest point, she decided to sing “Call Me.” Carmen can’t be that old. As a matter of fact, I think she had a high school tutor whilst in the competition. If she had taken even a miniscule moment from her all important studies and thought about the lyrics of the song she was about the destroy, she would have discovered that song was not for her:

Call me call me any anytime
Call me for a ride
Call me call me for some overtime
Call me in my life
Call me call me in a sweet design
Call me call me for your lover's lover's alibi

These words are spoken by a WOMAN. These are words from a woman seductress who has been around the block a few times, knows she is being used and is alright with that because she is out of her mind, crazy in love. These are not words to be warbled by a fifteen year old teenybopper with a bad case of the “I (heart) Justin Timberlakes” and who writes that her Idol is “my mom.” She ruined the song, she ruined the energy, and she helped prove my case that no one should be singing Debbie Harry except Debbie Harry.

Carmen, I hope you have since discovered what you want to be when you grow up, and I hope it has nothing to do with singing.

Love Ya's, Crystal